Rejection: University of California at Sunnydale

Posted on March 20, 2011

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Here’s a bit of a throwback; we wrote this when we were but wee little high school lads. Buffy fans should appreciate this.

A bit of context: our high school had what it so kindly referred to as the “Wall of Shame”, where forlorn high school seniors would post their rejection letters from the colleges they had unsuccessfully applied to. It was, of course, in the atrium of the school, allowing all to see your humiliation of not being admitted to shitty schools like Harvard, and such esteemed schools as the local community college.

We, of course, not having been denied from any colleges (witness our brilliance, peons!), had to fill the wall with something. So, following in the tradition of an older brother who had been rejected form Hogwarts, we wrote up the following little gem in one of our free periods and whipped up the letterhead in photoshop real quicklike.

Probably thirty or forty minutes after we posted it, some self-righteous cow from our grade took it upon herself to be a horrendous bitch and rip it off the wall publicly shred it while announcing to a crowd that “it made fun of the misfortune of other students.” So, we printed of a stack of the letters and continued to repost it every time it was torn down by the same obnoxious troll, often within the span of minutes and to fantastic reaction. As I recall, after a week of these shenanigans she finally stopped tearing it down, though not without some continued unkind words toward us innocent boys.

Her interference aside, we had left a mark. While visiting our alma mater the next year, we found the Wall of Shame graced with rejection from such prestigious institutions as Starfleet Academy, and the Jedi Temple of Coruscant.

In retrospect, we should have realized that our juvenile pleasures were, well, juvenile. But it was so much more fun putting it up the seventh or eighth time, than it was putting it up the first. I wonder how she’ll feel about it this time.

Victory for all Harris-kind.

Oh and, don’t worry – we made sure to fold it and add a (pretty official-looking) signature below Ethan’s name every time it went on the wall.

You can download of PDF of this here: UCSD

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